Monday, June 06, 2005


So this is how it ends. After 15 years of service to the company, I was given an hour to pack my desk and leave. No time to say good-bye to all the people I have worked with and my friends. Just a security guard and my former manager watching me pack my boxes. I figured once they found out I was going to work for a competitor that they would escort me from the building. After all, it is just business. I had even prepared mentally for it. But knowing it was probably going to happen and having it happen were two different things. Now that it has, why do I feel so dirty?

MBH says it is a good thing. I now have 2 weeks of unexpected paid vacation with which I can do some of the things I have wanted to do all spring. I can go sit by the Charles River with my sketchbook and pastels and draw. I can read a few books I have been trying to read. But most importantly, I can decompress before I jump in both feet first at my new job. Still, I hate leaving strings untied and more than that; I hate to break promises I made. I made a promise to finish an important project and now it is left unfinished and two close friends and colleagues will suffer because I didn't finish the work. It feels like I have a red mark next to my name, "She doesn't finish her work". Probably just my Catholic school upbringing but I've never just quit and not finished what I started. Serves them right if they lose the client.

Oh well, it all was an excuse to have a glass of wine before 11:30...