Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A New Me in a New Town with a New Life

Look words here! Bet you never thought you'd see them on this blog again and frankly I wasn't sure I was ever going to write them here again either.

But, here they are. I guess I owe you a small explanation for my long absence from The Sour Dough and what has brought me back at least every once in a while. So, what has happened since I last posted here?

Let's see here since I last typed words here, I've completely upset my life by quitting my wretched job, moving 1,000 miles due south of Connecticut to a state deep in the heart of Dixie, only working when I want to and then only for people I want to work for and only if the project doesn't require me to work a bizillion hours, weekends or travel one day away from home. When I'm not working, I'm doing what I really love to do, seriously work on my golf game.

I also made some major changes to my lifestyle in regards to food and how I use food in my life and what I do with food like baking and cooking, which has resulted in my dropping over 1oolbs of weight.

I haven't wanted to talk much about this here because well, it's was a food blog and frankly I was embarrassed by my weight, the way I got fat, and that I had let myself go as badly as I did, especially after Wren's death. I've never been a tiny petite person. I'm tall and from good Midwestern stock, but I was never obese and never not active. Even when I was a bit heavier than I wanted to be, I carried it well because of my height and body build.

When Wren passed away I put on so much weight that at one point, my weight had approached 300lbs. At my top weight in early and mid 2010, I was 298.7lbs. I was morbidly obese and wretchedly unhappy with myself, my job, and my life. The more unhappy I was the more I turned to emotional eating. It was a vicious cycle that looked like it would never end.

But golf saved my life. Seriously. It did.

I don't mind telling you how hard it was to do simple things like go up stairs and carry loudspeakers, etc like I needed to for my job let alone swing a golf club correctly to hit it long and walking a golf course was impossible when you are as fat as I was.

In September 2010, after playing golf for a little of six months, I ventured to a golf outing in Florida with some folks I met through an online golf forum. I had the most wonderful time and the people were non-judgemental about my weight and my golf game. All they cared about was that I loved the game of golf and was there to have fun. I ended up meeting people who have become lifetime friends and in some cases, as important to me as members of my family.

The big life changing moment came after the outing when I saw pictures of myself. I was horrified by what I saw (I'm the fat girl on the left)

I came home from that outing and joined Weight Watchers. It has been a long slog but this earlier this month when I weighed in at a meeting, I am now only 48lbs away from my goal weight. This is the new me as of October 2011 and I've lost more since then.

The new me is playing the best golf of her life. I've not only broke 100 but I'm well on my way to breaking 90. AND, if my instructor is right and I keep working as hard as I am right now at both my fitness, weight loss and my golf game, there is no reason I won't be playing in the mid-low 80s by the summer and driving the ball over 170yds.

The new me is actually interested in "gasp" DATING again and loves getting those looks from men again. The new me loves to shop for clothes and the girly girl I've always secretly been is living out loud in lipstick, red nail polish, and flirty clothes. But, most importantly the new me doesn't use food as a crutch for her unhappiness and stress.

SO, you are asking what the hello does this have to do with anything at The Sour Dough and what this blog is about?

Well, it means that this blog is no longer going to be just about food. It started as a general topic blog. A place where I could just write and let my thought come out. Because of food is no longer the center focus of my life, I'm taking The Sour Dough back to a more general topic blog when I post. Now that doesn't mean there will be no food here.

I'm still a Bread Baking Babe and hopefully, once a month, the bread of the month will show up here. My lovely sister babes have all thrown their support behind me and know that I will be baking with them when I can adapt the recipe for my new lifestyle.

I still love to cook and bake other things too but I don't eat much of what I bake. Basically, if I can't give away 99.9% of what I bake, I'm not baking it. The cooking I do is very healthy cooking...most of the time. I may post about some of that here if the mood strikes me.

What definitely is changing, is I'm not posting to just post. Also, you will notice there really isn't a way to contact me or leave comments. It isn't that I haven't enjoyed helping you with your bread and recipe questions over the years. Rather, my life has changed and this blog isn't the end all be all of my existence anymore.

So, thank you all for all your support over the years. Feel free to hang out and see if I can break 80 on the golf course before next year and definitely check out the Babe Bread every month and be a Buddy with us!