Sunday, September 28, 2008

Goodbye My Dears for a Little While...

Dear readers, I'm not even sure how to begin this post and frankly can't even believe that I'm writing this tonight of all nights but I guess I just need to because after tonight I won't be blogging for a bit.

Today, my former partner in life, Wren,who I've written here about since The Sour Dough started as either MBH or W passed away.

goodbye my dear wren

I am going to need to take a step back for a bit to put some things in perspective and most importantly to take care of me, my family and Wren's family. You see, despite all the crap we put each other through towards the end of our relationship, we found we were still each others best friends and today I lost my best friend.

It was Wren who encouraged me to start this blog back in December 2004 on Blogger and it was Wren who walked me through all the trials and tribulations of hosting my own site and it was Wren, who just yesterday told me that he was proud of me because I was taking good pictures, writing good edited posts and mostly had completely found my voice. Then this morning, he decided he was tired of the demons that had taken over his life the past year since his father's death last year in May and took his own life.

I'm afraid right now, I just can't fathom using that voice for anything but shouting to the wind "WHY!" and "DAMN YOU FOR LEAVING ME!"

I do want to let you know that I will be back. I know that I would do a huge disservice to Wren's memory if I stopped blogging. I just don't know when.

I also do want you know that I am doing as well as can be expected right now and have a wonderful network of friends both physically here and virtually where you are who have leaped to show support, love, and care. If I don't personally comment or answer an email, please know, that I have read it and found comfort in your words and prayers of support.

One last thing, please if someone you know is suffering from depression or is having suicidal thoughts, get in contact with someone who can help you and help them. Suicide is never the right answer.